come back? (a letter)

Hi. How are you? I am well. Although.. I'm not much fun without you. In fact, I think people liked me better when you were around. I think a lot of people only liked me in the context of you. Alone, they see what a bore I am. I can tell some of them have tried to continue a relationship with me sans you. They try to pass some time with me or strike up a conversation, desperately seeking out whatever it was you saw in me, but they always come out of the search empty handed. I just have nothing to say. I don't know. Maybe that's not the case with everyone- not everyone stopped enjoying my company just because we're no longer a package deal. I guess it might have something to do with the fact that I don't shower as much anymore- don't even shave my legs that often. I really don't see a point in looking good when there's no one to impress. There's no point in even dressing up. I haven't washed my clothes in a month. I have been wearing the same 9 dirty outfits for the last month. Not having you has done one good thing for my image however. Surprisingly, the lack of your presence has done wonders for my figure. I just don't want food anymore! I've become so apathetic about my situation, I hardly feel the need to eat. It's true- I eat solely out of necessity now. Not to mention, I never have anyone to eat with. You see, no one likes to eat alone. I mean, I'm also very busy. Between school, knitting, and drinking, I hardly have time to eat. I've picked the bottle back up recently and well, drinking takes up much of my time now. You know how that goes. But don't get me wrong- I'm not lonely. I've been hanging out with Louie, you know, our cat...well, my cat. Our relationship has really blossomed since you've gone away. It's been great. Things have just been... great. I just think that maybe it would be nice to have you around. Maybe. Come back?

Sincerely,

S.

*in case anyone is concerned, which I'm sure is not the case, this was a kind of a joke.